And My Uterus Goes On Strike.

Earlier this month I blogged about how thankful I am for my job.  I retract my thankfulness; babies are cute but nasty.  And my uterus is on an official strike; we're shutting down business for years (as if it was ever in business...).  Babies are not popping out of that sucker until my late 20s (at least) or early 30s (most likely) if I have any control over it.  Let's make that an affirmative early 30s.  Currently, I don't have much to worry about in this department, but in case the option rises, I am prepared.

One thing that I need explained is how I lived in dorms for the past four years and got sick, which includes everything from a major cold or flu case to seasonal allergies, less than five times.  I had a few days that I felt worn-down, but these could be attributed to lack of sleep, Starbucks opens, terrible cafeteria food, and reading until 2 AM for my lit classes more than a faulty immune system.  Okay, I work with children-the same two children-for seven months, and I've been sick three times.  THREE TIMES!  This week I've held feverish, snotty, diarrhea-ridden children.  Gross.  Also, Cassidy and I were playing, and she crawled right up to my face and sneezed directly into my contact.  That can't be good for the immunity.  And I refuse to get a flu shot, because, well, I'm just that way.

And the teething!  Can someone please save me?!  I'm caring for two, teething infants, and it is a living hell.  The incessant wining and crying.  I know they can't help it, and the poor things are in pain, but 10 hours of straight crying.  And now Finn's trying to bite me to get relief.  Hello, nanny Ash is not an ice-pop.  Beyond the teething the twins are in a jealousy stage and don't like to share me.  This is problematic considering there are always two twins and one Ash.  And then my laptop was pulled off the table by curious fingers after my mug of pomegranate tea.  All things considered, a day with the twins is enough to send me home to my bottle of red.

Men of the world, you'd better head toward another woman if you want to be a dad soon or see that "perpetual glow" on your woman.  I'm not ready for that kind of commitment.  Oh... and I like to have crust-free hair, thanks.

Sincerely,
Ash

P.S. - As a contradictory caveat, I should add that I am thankful for the nap hours, when I get to read, crochet, and stream TV episodes on the clock.  And for the free food.  And that I can go to work in my ratty jeans and a flannel or sweats.  Those things are positives.  But still... I'm not ready.