Pseudo-Momming

Being a mom is hard work, I think.  On Friday night I stayed overnight with the twins.  My biological clock is now on standstill for about 1,000 years.  Just kidding.  But kids around 30 sounds good.

First off I FAILED to grill a turkey burger.  Not sure what happened or why it chose not to cook right, but the meat sort of stuck to the grate and got goopy.  That seemed crazy-salmonella-like, so I left it to harden a bit before scraping it off the grill.  Oops.  I forgot to close the lid, so it attracted about fifteen wasps.  Secret fear:  Getting stung.  My mom's deathly allergic, so I run away or kill bees/wasps/yellow jackets/anything with a stinger in about -5 seconds out of habit.  And in all my outdoor and traveling adventures, I've managed to avoid a sting.  I figure it's not so much about the painful sting but more about the possibility of being allergic and kicking the bucket after getting stung like the kid on My Girl.  Unpleasant.

She's precious.

SO ANYWAY... I attempted to hit chunks of turkey burger off the grill with the scraper.  The wasps followed the chunks/my hand.  I tried to hit said chunks far away from the grill and throw them into a bag.  The wasps followed me.  Finally I closed the grill and ran away like a brave person.  After 15 minutes I opened the grill and encountered mad wasps.  I almost ran away but had a brilliant epiphany to turn on the burner to kill the wasps.  They didn't actually die; they just got pissed, but the smoke made them fly away.  And I remained unstung.

And he's too cute for words, really.

Why didn't I just ignore it?  Because I wanted the babes to play in the yard, so they would sleep nice.  Eventually all the wasps left, but the whole experience just got obnoxious and dramatic.  Gross.  Afterward the night went smoothly, and the twins fell asleep without complication.  Then I collapsed with some wine and episodes of The Office.  I discovered this was my favorite part of pseudo-momming.

Saturday mornings for mothers.

Don't get me wrong; I liked the Saturday morning cuddles as well. What I did not enjoy as much was the 3:35 AM wake-up call.  Cassidy fell back asleep promptly after uttering a blood-curdling scream, but I stayed wide awake, my heart pounding for a good 30 minutes from being awoken mid dream (which was oddly about Florida and a butler...).  Counting sheep didn't work.  Pretending I lived in a fairy-tale land didn't work.  What did work was exhaustion, and I somehow managed to get back to sleep around 5:30 only to be woke at 6:30 by a playful toddler.

By noon on Saturday, I was exhausted.  And looked awful.  My eyes were too tired to wear my contacts.  It was stellar.  Then I went to the Gap and purchased adult clothes for my internship/graduate school education.  Turns out that when you spend a lot of money to learn how to be a licensed professional, sweats and tie-dyes don't cut it.  Such a grown-up day for me.

To sum it up, I gleaned the following from the overnight:
1.  Moms needs to be thanked more frequently.
2.  Moms are probably some of the most creative people on earth.  Creative in multiple senses of the word.
3.  I bet a mom invented the happy hour.
4.  I bet Spicy Basil-and the many take-out options on Broadway-makes a lot of money on Friday nights... because of tired Moms.
5.  I bet a Mom discovered melatonin's sleepiness affects.

:)

While it might be challenging and hard sometimes, I imagine that being a real mom is a privilege as well.  And a gift.  To love someone no matter what and watch a person become.  Someday, someday, but my heart's (or maybe just my sleep cycle's) glad it's not today.