Any day now.  The envelope could come in the mail any day.  And I am real scared to open it.  But real excited.

But once it's open, it will be open, the answer laid bare in front of me, and that will be that.  And even if I don't like the response-or if I do-I will still be me.  Still be someone with a long way to go, but an incredible someone who has come through a lot as well.  All this waiting; I'm no good at it.

Even if the content doesn't say what I want it to, other possibilities wait.  Some I know nothing of and others I've considered for some time.

A trip to Kenya.  And maybe a detour to Uganda.  Or Senegal.
Two years in Mexico.
Jobs in other fields, places.
Living with one of my best friends again.  And two dogs.  And maybe with others.
Friends I have yet to meet.
Books to read.
Questions to ask.
Weddings to dance at.
Thoughts to consider.
Habits to break.
A love I have yet to love.
5Ks to Run.  This coming Saturday.
Money to save.
Projects to take on.
Areas to grow in.
Laughs to laugh and laugh and laugh.

Up to this point, I've lived in phases, waiting for the "next big thing."  What happens when there isn't a "next big thing?"  I guess that's now, and I'm learning to live well in the now.  In the monotonous mundane.  To appreciate every day for what it is, nothing more and nothing less.

But my heart is still wild.  And that is something I love, something I won't let go of ever.